I am going to share some personal things here that I normally wouldn't share in the fear that Destiny may some day read this.  First a disclaimer:  I love my daughter more than words could ever say and I don't want anyone to get confused about that.  I also would not change her for the world.  I am happy with how she is and I believe she makes me a better person.

Destiny has always been a difficult child.  I guess the only way to explain it is that she has always been extreme.  She is either EXTREMELY happy or EXTREMELY angry.  There really is no happy median with her.  When she was little and we would take her to McDonalds she would play with all the other kids and have a blast.  Then about 3 years old she started to pull away from others.  By the time she started Kindergarten she began to isolate.  There are times she still tries to socialize and says she wants friends but it seems that she does not have the skills to be able to make or keep friends.  She gets very angry and lashes out by yelling and scratching and even pulls her own hair and scratches her own skin.  I am always on constant alert trying to avert a bad situation before it gets too out of hand.  Sometimes I am successful, and others not so much.

When I took Destiny to the Dr. here a couple weeks ago I mentioned that we were taking her to a developmental pediatrician.  She asked me why and I tried to give her a few examples without hurting Destiny's feelings.  I also mentioned that the school is wanting to put her into special education next year.  The doctor looked at me and said she thought all of that was ridiculous because Destiny seemed fine to her.  I must say that I lost it.  I told her I felt that she could not determine what was in the best interest of my child when she got to spend 10 minutes with her a couple times a year.  I explained that Destiny does not feel comfortable with her so she pretends to be invisible and never even talks to her.  She may look "normal" to her but her behaviors tell a different story.  I would never change my daughter because I feel that she has taught me a lot of things about life.  However, I feel that my daughter would benefit from some programs only available to children with a confirmed diagnosis.

Am I wrong to push for a diagnosis for my daughter or should I accept that my daughter at almost 9 years old is just a "late bloomer" and someday she will finally be toilet trained, that she will someday be able to make and keep age appropriate friendships, that she will one day wake up and be able to read and function normally in society?  I'm not sure of the right answer but I am sure willing to fight to find an answer, right or wrong.....